When I came to Saint Meinrad to study for priesthood, I was totally unaware of the rudiments of a seminary. I was filled with confusion just thinking of what will unfold infront of me in the next five months of stay at the seminary. I remember during my first two weeks in the seminary how I had to find my way to the sessions during the orientation period in the beginning of Fall semester. I had to go out of the seminary building in order to figure out where I was and be able to find my way back to my room in the monastery. For me, the process of adjustment that I underwent was considered difficult.
Coming from a contemplative community of Benedictine monks who spend days and nights in prayers and doing nothing but manual work in complete silence, the adjustment that I needed to achieve was not easy. The shift of lifestyle from being silent to a talking one all day long was challenging. Making conversation during receptions and after school assemblies and colloquies was the most challenging part in the process of my adjustment.
The seminary policy that required me to be present in receptions to socialize with people who I must get to know and exchange pleasantries with was not easy to achieve. It required guts to be able to accomplish a good conversation and exchange pleasantries with guests and seminarians. Getting used to the ambience of a talking community of monks and seminarians was, for me, the most difficult part in my adjustment period. It took me a couple of months before I finally got accustomed to the atmosphere of talking.
The experience, however, gave me a different outlook in my life as seminarian who will be dealing with the seminary’s social and academic challenges for years. The process of adjustment brought me real confidence. It enabled me to deal with my inadequacy in social and interpersonal relations with the communities of monks and seminarians of Saint Meinrad.
In the course of the semester, I totally gained the needed buoyancy and self-confidence that made my academic life much easier to deal with than what I had thought of at the beginning of the year. The adjustment period has also given me an opportunity to become more flexible and resilient to the seminary’s academic demands and challenges. Likewise, I have become more at ease with myself during activities that require social and interpersonal interactions with the communities of monks and seminarians at the seminary.
As for my physical health, the process of adjustment at the beginning of the school year has affected my physical wellness. The shift from a monastic day of prayers in my own community to a day of academic classes has made it hard for me to attend to my usual physical exercises. During the first semester, I practically neglected my regular physical exercises.
This shift has greatly affected my physical health. Because of this, I sustained fluctuations in my blood pressure prompting me to bring to mind my regular routine of physical work-out and exercises. I had to incorporate a schedule of physical exercises in the monastery’s gym to my schedule of reading my assignments and writing my papers. Before the end of the first semester, my efforts were productive because my blood pressure became stable. I attained sound physical health.
This shift has greatly affected my physical health. Because of this, I sustained fluctuations in my blood pressure prompting me to bring to mind my regular routine of physical work-out and exercises. I had to incorporate a schedule of physical exercises in the monastery’s gym to my schedule of reading my assignments and writing my papers. Before the end of the first semester, my efforts were productive because my blood pressure became stable. I attained sound physical health.
My spiritual and prayerlife as contemplative monk has always been manifested in my day-to-day encounters at the seminary. As student visiting-monk of Saint Meinrad seminary who’s expected to participate in the daily Horarium at the Abbey Church of the Benedictine monks of Saint Meinrad, my prayerlife was faithfully observed. My prayerlife inspired and encouraged me to keep moving with my student-life at the seminary.
The Spiritual Formation Program of the seminary has been very helpful and supportive in attaining the goals and objectives of my studies in the seminary. For the most part, the spiritual direction of Fr Vincent Tobin, OSB has given me so much encouragement and spiritual enlightenment. Likewise, the counseling sessions with Sister Patty Lasher, OSB have definitely given me guidance and inspiration in dealing with the challenges and demands of my studies. Their combined efforts made me stay focused with my goals and objectives.
As Solemnly professed contemplative monk of my community, I carry certain monastic vows and these vows have been guiding me through the years toward attaining a chaste and celibate life. Being chaste and celibate is a way of life for me as monk. My practice of chaste celibacy as part of my vow of conversion of life has always been my strength in dealing with my sexuality. It never gave me difficulty or challenge in dealing with my way of life as monk and seminarian at Saint Meinrad seminary.
My pattern in attending classes and meeting deadlines for my class papers and assignments was well managed. Except when I’m sick, I am always present and punctual in class meetings and related activities of the seminary.
During the first two months of the first semester, whenever I was absent due to colds and related sickness, I would send an e-mail to my professors informing them of my sickness and asking them that I may be excused from attending their classes.
My regular timetable and schedule of writing papers and reading class assignments are well maintained. My difficulty during the first semester, which was actually considered as my period of adjustment towards an active academic life in the seminary, was eventually defeated in the course of time.
As student in First Philosophy, the knowledge and awareness that I gained from formal classroom instructions gave me a great learning experience. The courses I took during the first and second semester have specifically given me a concrete understanding about my faith in God.
Through the study of Philosophy and Theology, I was able to gain a perceptive knowledge and a rational understanding in Logical Analysis, Christian Maturity and Human Development, Ancient Philosophy, Creed in History and Theology, Medieval Philosophy, Introduction to Liturgy, Ethics and Natural Law, and Philosophy of Nature and Man.
The grades I received from my courses in the first semester were relatively good and fair. The corresponding grades I got from these courses were: B in Creed, B in Logical Analysis, B in Ancient Philosophy, and C minus in Human Development and Christian Maturity.
Although I will not be coming back to St. Meinrad seminary next Fall semester because my superior decided to transfer me to Saint Vincent seminary in Pennsylvania for reasons of financial constraints, I have formulated the following concrete steps, as my guide in the coming academic year at a seminary where I will continue to study:
1.) devise and follow a concrete timetable of schedule of my daily routine,
2.) maintain a healthy communication with a spiritual director and a guidance counselor, and 3.) maintain a list of adaptable set of physical exercises to balance my brain activity with my physical activity.
As Solemnly professed monk of my community, my superior sent me to study for priesthood at the seminary in order to be able to even better serve my community brothers in the near future. Since my community does not have any pastoral ministry and external apostolate, I will be coming back to the confines of my community after finishing my seminary studies to serve my confreres as ordained priest of the Church.
My objective for the coming year will be: To be able to make a much worry-free and anxiety-free kind of adjustment to a new environment of monks, seminarians, and lay students at Saint Vincent seminary in Pennsylvania. To be able to achieve this objective, I shall list down three important aspects that will guide and help me attain such objective. The following are my tactics:
1.) maintain a good prayerlife
2.) achieve a balanced physical and mental activity, and
3.) maintain a regular communication with a spiritual director and a guidance counselor.
Br. Lawrence, how have you dealt with the significant loss of your confrere this year and how has this affected your studies and your moods?
I was shocked and distressed. But I had to move on with my life, and I had to stay focused with my goals and objectives of my studies.
How have your own concerns with your health and your sister’s death affected your formation?Initially, grief momentarily kept me from my focus with the lessons and writing assignments in my classes. My health was failing me, too. Eventually, I regained my health and my momentum. With the support from the formation staff like Sr. Patty and Fr. Vincent, I was able to stay focused with my studies and with my prayerlife.
How have cultural differences between the Philippines and the US affected your formation?I have been in the US for seven years now. As US immigrant, the process of inculturation that I achievd as step in cultural adjustment through assimilation and accommodation of American culture has never been a challenge in dealing with my American classmates, friends, confreres and the seminary as a whole.
What have been the key features of your transition from living at Christ in the Desert to living at Saint Meinrad and being a student?Living in silence for seven years at Christ in the Desert is a huge difference with living at Saint Meinrad. The transition I made required an enormous effort on my part to be able to fit in, to measure up, and to adapt to a different kind of lifestyle as monk and student of Saint Meinrad seminary.
What the seven-member evaluation committee says about my seminary formation for the past school year at St Meinrad seminary:
Bro Zachary Wilberding, OSB, my academic Advisor, says, Bro Lawrence gives a very effective description of the challenges he has faced in complying with seminary expectations of social behavior which are quite different from the silence of his home community.
Bro Zachary Wilberding, OSB, my academic Advisor, says, Bro Lawrence gives a very effective description of the challenges he has faced in complying with seminary expectations of social behavior which are quite different from the silence of his home community.
Added to this is the fact that he has not had much experience of U.S. culture outside of his monastery. His discussion points out the challenge of formation for monastic priesthood, especially in contemplative communities. As a member of Christ in the Desert Monastery, his ministry will primarily be to that community. And yet formation for priesthood requires that he develop a broader array of behaviors. Much of his formation will have an "as if" quality wherein he will need to act "as if" he were to be ministering more broadly in the future.
This is challenging. Bro Lawrence mentions some of his health problems but does not dwell on them. I am concerned that he may have a tendency to "somaticize", that is, to express emotional conflicts through physical symptoms. I have found Bro Lawrence to be unfailingly polite and cheerful but there times, especially over the past few months, when I have sensed a deep sadness in him.
This may be related to his sister's recent death in December of last year. I hope that he will reflect on this and take steps to increase his personal hapiness. I think that counseling would serve him well in this regard. Brother Lawrence certainly manifests the monastic virtues of humility, obedience, and patience in my contacts with him. I asked him to make extensive revisions to his self-evaluation and he did so effectively and without complaint. I prayerfully wish him all the best in his move to Saint Vincent Seminary this Fall semester.
Fr denis Robinson, OSB- Seminary President-Rector, says, my contact with bro Lawrence has been minimal as Ihave not had him in class and his main community is the monastery (of St Meinrad).
I sense from Bro lawrence's self-evaluation that the transition has not been an easy one. The life of the monk of Christ in the Desert and the student-monk at Saint Meinrad seems to be very diffeent and offer particular challenges.
Bro Lawrence seems to be very much aware of these challenges and have made the necessary adjustments to appropriately adapt to the new environment. I wish him the best as he tansfers to his new seminary and offer him our thanks for having made Saint Meinrad a part of his vocational journey.
Fr Bede Cisco, OSB says, Bro Lawrence has been attentive to make a real transition in adjusting to Saint Meinrad by allowing and directing changes in himself to adjust to the new setting, noting that he gained the "needed buoyancy and self-confidence". I am glad he found guidance and encouragement from Sister Patty in our Counseling Center.
As he describes it, there is quite a contrast between the more contemplative life with manual labor at his monastery and the interactive and academic life in the seminary. He made a significant transition. Bro Lawrence has assimilated the basic components of the spiritual life through monastic life and those have provided support for his life as a seminarian.
Now he faces another transition, going to Saint Vincent Seminary next Fall semester. I think the skills he learned this past two semesters about how to make and handle a transition will help him in adjusting to his next seminary and monastery.
Fr Patrick Cooney, OSB says, Br Lawrence presents a good evaluation. He is honest about his struggles to adjust and heis able to address his struggles and is able to point to how he has grown because of them.
Fr Patrick Cooney, OSB says, Br Lawrence presents a good evaluation. He is honest about his struggles to adjust and heis able to address his struggles and is able to point to how he has grown because of them.
I am happy to hear that he is back to taking care of his health and I encourage him that during his adjustment to Saint Vincent's that he be aware of how that seemed to slide early on in his adjustment here so that he can begin this new adjustment aware that he needs to keep his health in mind from the beginning.
It is evident from bro Lawrence's self-evaluation that he is open to formation and is taking advantage of counseling and spiritual direction. He speaks to the connections he is making between what he is learning in the classroom and his growing knowledge and understanding which affects his formation.
I think that Bro Lawrence does a very good jobof addressing the plan he has for his adjustment when he transfers schools and his objective and tactics that he lays out for his next year of formation are good and will aid him in his continuing development. I wish Bro Lawrence the best of luck next year. I support his move to to the next year of formation.
I have had very little personal contact with Bro Lawrence at the seminary. Thus, my comments are based on what has written in his self-evaluation and comments that I have heard from members of the Formation Staff.
It appears that the transition to the Benedictine community and to the seminary community has been not only challenging, but difficult. It was good to read that Fr Vincent and Sr Patty have been helpful in this transition.
In light of the fact that Bro Lawrence will not be returning to Saint Meinrad, my hope is that what he has learned in transitioning into this new environment will enable a smoother and less rocky transition into his new home at Saint Vincent in Pennsylvania. His stated goals indicate that he is hoping for the same. I support Bro Lawrence's move to a second year of formation.
Sub-Prior Fr Guerric Debonna, OSB- Dean of Monastic Students, says, This has been a difficult year for Bro Lawrence, beginning with the sudden death of his confrere at Christ in the Desert ansd then sorting out some issues concerning family of origin.
Bro Lawrence is a very sensitive person and takes his difficulties very much to heart, often to the expense of his health, peace of mind and common exercises. He often seems preoccupied by various concerns which he feels so deeply. At the same time, Bro Lawrence has worked very hard on his issues, regularly visiting the Counseling Center here and staying in regular touch with Prior Tobias about his progress in human formation.
He has been a generous worker in the monastery house assignments and works hard at his academics. We applaud his contribution to the life in the monastery. As he makes his way to another monastic setting and seminary, we urge that he continue to seek regular therapy and continue to be open with his religious superiors about his progress. We are grateful to his contributions this year.
Fr Godfrey Mullen, OSB - seminary's Vice Rector, says, Bro Lawrence has had a very difficult year. Along with the transition tolive in a new community came several personal and physical setbacks.
Generally, it seems that Bro Lawrence has engaged the resources offered to him to handle these situations. "It required guts". These are Brother Lawrence's words. It seems right to say that Bro Lawrence does, in fact, have guts.
While he has made good progress here this year in numerous areas of formation, there is still much progress to be gained in the years ahead at St. Vincent's. I encourage him to continue analyzing his responses to challenges, his own commitment to the monastic vows that he's made, and his ability to be a public person- even in a contemplative monastery, a priest is a public person. I urge him to take good care of himself and I recommend him for advancement to the second year of philosophy.
7 votes - Confident (A majority vote of Confident is a judgment that the student is ready to advance to the next year.)
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