self-denial

I have been shrouded with laxity and hesitation to write updates in my blog since i started venturing with another phase in my life as monk, and that is, studying in a seminary for my priesthood formation.

But lately, my laxity has been overshadowed with a certain kind of enthusiasm to resume with my passion for writing and this passion kept me energized despite my lethargy brought about by a huge pile of thick philosohy reading assignments and a seemed-to-be unending thesis writing for such readings....

What kept my passion from staying within me despite my condition as a grad student? A couple of years ago, while I was inside my contemplative cloister in my monastery in New Mexico, I have deliberately vowed to at least post every other day if not a daily update of reflections to my blog from my daily Lectio Divina. A vow is a vow no matter what the cost, as what thinkers say.

These reflections I now call as mystagogical reflections carry and contain human-lfe experiences drawn to give meaning to the Scriptural passages that I carefully quote to be posted in here for your own daily spiritual reflections. So, this makes sense why I am back to blogging and tries to be more visible by regulary posting updates for you people of God and precious friends!

Today is the first Thursday of Lent. The ashes our Christian Churches laid yesterday on our foreheads are still fresh; and are meant to remind us of a forty-day journey to our spirituality towards the end: our salvation through repentance and conversion of our lives.

In today's Gospel, Jesus, shows us two vivid directions: the Way of the Cross He must undergo, and our own way to follow Him.

Today's Gospel (Lk 9:22-25) says: Jesus said, «The Son of Man must suffer many things. He will be rejected by the elders and chief priests and teachers of the Law, and put to death.

Then after three days he will be raised to life».

Jesus also said to all the people, «If you wish to be a follower of mine, deny yourself and take up your cross each day, and follow me.

For if you choose to save your life, you will lose it, and if you lose your life for my sake, you will save it. What does it profit you to gain the whole world while you destroy or damage yourself?».

The path of Jesus is the Way of the Cross and that of death, but also that of His Glory for the Gospel passage says «The Son of Man must suffer many things (...), and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. » (Lk 9:22).

The route we all must take is, significantly, the same one Jesus took, and He shows us how to follow it as stated in the passage: «If any man would come after Me...» (Lk 9:23).

Embracing His Cross, Jesus complied with the Will of His Father; as for us, carrying ours on our shoulders, we follow him in his Way of the Cross.

The path of Jesus is summarized in three words: suffering, dying, raising from the dead.

These aspects make up our own path, too. Consider the essence of our Christian life by self-denial, taking up our cross every day of our life in order that we may be able to follow Jesus.

Why do we do so and follow Jesus in His sufferings? Why the heck do we have to deny ourselves?

If we do not deny ourselves and do not take up our own cross, then we are only seeking to affirm and be ourselves so to save us from the pangs of pains and suffering of life...

Yet, by wanting to save it, we will lose it.

On the other hand, those who, because of Jesus, will not strive to avoid their suffering and the cross, will save their lives. How is this so? This will leave you all to your own contemplation.

Where are we in this mystery of reality?

It is the resulting paradox of our following Jesus: «For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?» (Lk 9:25) that we can find the answers to these unending questions.

Bless us all as we look into ourselves, where we are at this point of time, and delightfully look forward to the Easter of our lives.

paralysis

It's been days since I last posted in my blog and this makes me feel a bit guilty. But life in the seminary is really unpredictable and very demanding. Please bear with me my dear friends.

Today, upon reading the Gospel, we are made to focus our attention on three significant realities: a paralyzed man, a group of friends, and Jesus.

As today's Gospel says, (Mk 2:1-12): When Jesus returned to Capernaum some time later, news spread that He was at home, and so many people gathered that there was no longer room even outside the door. While Jesus was preaching the Word to them, some people brought a paralyzed man to him. The four men who carried him couldn't get near Jesus because of the crowd, so they opened the roof above the room where Jesus was and, through the hole, lowered the man on his mat. When Jesus saw the faith of these people, He said to the paralytic, «My son, your sins are forgiven». Now, some teachers of the Law who were sitting there wondered within themselves, «How can he speak like this insulting God? Who can forgive sins except God?».

At once Jesus knew through his spirit what they were thinking and asked, «Why do you wonder? Is it easier to say to this paralyzed man: ‘Your sins are forgiven’, or to say: ‘Rise, take up your mat and walk?’ But now you shall know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins». And He said to the paralytic, «Stand up, take up your mat and go home». The man rose and, in the sight of all those people, he took up his mat and went out. All of them were astonished and praised God saying, «We have never seen anything like this!».

I am sure that in the paralyzed man we can see our own reflections. The effects of our sins can make us totally paralyzed. Our sins render us ineffective and powerless in our path to God.

There are times when, either we do not realize it or we think that all is well as we are, or that we shall eventually solve or put up with our little offenses and transgressions in our relations with God.

When was the last time we went to confession? When was the last time we realized we are drowning from our sinful ways? Or maybe we are still not able to reach to a certain point of realization. For how long do we have to wait for the paralysis of our souls to get cured?

The second reality that we need to be aware of is that we truly need good friends that will take us to God and may overcome our resistances.

It is very possible that the paralyzed man, after realizing the commotion his friends had created, may have asked them to halt and postpone it for some other day, that there were a lot of people around Jesus... Not to mention the bother he may make amidst all those who were there and their shoutings because they could not hear what Jesus was saying, and etc...

But true friends are not afraid of troubles, they truly love and they want only the best for us. Let us wonder today whether we have any true friends that would be willing to take us before God.

Let us also wonder whether we are true friends to others and we really try to take those we love to God. We should not forget and realize that they will also oppose resistance.

We may ask ourselves: Am I really a good friend to myself and to others? Can others trust me to help them getting closer to Jesus?

And what about Jesus? He comes to bring the true salvation to us, to deliver us from the paralysis of our souls, to forgive our sins and to bring us redemption.

Do I help myself and others to come to God and be redeemed?

Blessings to us all...

stinking smell

The hill is almost empty. At the seminary, the long weekend started last Friday and ends on Monday when the seminarians will be back from their long weekend sojourn in their respective dioceses for the start –of-the-week classes.

Since I do not directly belong to any diocese, I was left behind and had to stay in my cell at the cloister of community of monks in St. Meinrad, do my homework, read my assignments and upload photos in my facebook and update my blog.

The routine is not new to me, as a matter of fact; I do enjoy getting submerged in this kind of weekend routine. Well, thanks God, I am a bit relieved from the stressful week that passed which was kind of tough week for me as the lessons in the four courses that I am taking this semester in my MA had escalated to an intensity and a degree that really require so much time and focus, lest I may end up flanking these courses.

Taking a break from my reading assignment in Ethics and Philosophy of nature and man, trying to breathe and get a little respite from Aristotle’s arguments and Thomas Aquinas’ points in his writings, I found myself deeply moved with today’s Gospel.

Today’s Gospel reading says: (Mk 1:40-45): A leper came to Jesus and begged him, “If you so will, you can make me clean”. Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean”. The leprosy left the man at once and he was made clean. As Jesus sent the man away, he sternly warned him, “Don't tell anyone about this, but go and show yourself to the priest and for the cleansing bring the offering ordered by Moses; in this way you will make your declaration”. However, as soon as the man went out, he began spreading the news everywhere, so that Jesus could no longer openly enter any town. But even though he stayed in the rural areas, people came to him from everywhere.

The Scripture reading today invites us to greatly encourage ourselves to contemplate on our own faith because it seems that our lives are paralleled to the leper’s life. Where are we in the light of today's Gospel? Isn't it true enough that there are times in our life- sometimes or oftentimes – when we sin?

Our life is similar to the leper's life. At times, we live in sin, apart from God and ourselves. But this Gospel encourages us and offers us a model: to openly affirm our total faith in Jesus, to completely open our hearts to Him, and once cleaned by the Spirit, to go around proclaiming that we have met the Lord, that we have been healed from the leprosies of our life!

When was the last time we went for the sacrament of Reconciliation? When was the last time we experience the sacrament of Joy? Perhaps now is the time.

One thing is clear: Jesus wants us to walk along with Him, He wants to clean us from all our leprosies brought by the cruelties of life and the evils of the world around us, and how do we react to that invitation?

We have to go and meet Him with the leper's humility and let Him help us to die free from sin to live by His Justice. Let our leprosies from the evils that caught our lives be healed and be cleansed and get rid totally of their stinking smell.

Blessings to all of you and have a happy Sunday.

Now I feel much better. I can now go back to my reading assignment and continue with Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Contra Gentiles III and Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics Book 3.

Monastic asceticism

The word "ascetic" comes from the ancient Greek term askēsis (practice, training or exercise). Originally the term ascetic is associated with any form of disciplined practice, such as a renunciation of worldly pursuits to achieve higher intellectual and spiritual goals.

Asceticism within monastic tradition includes spiritual disciplines practiced to work out the monk’s salvation and expresses his repentance for sin, with the ultimate aim of purifying his heart and mind.

Initially, emphasis on monastic asceticism may seem to be only about sexual renunciation. However, sexual abstinence is merely one aspect of ascetic renunciation because monks have huge concerns which they need to address on the following: self-denial and getting rid of pride and vainglory, attaining humility and compassion, continuous discernment for total renewal of self toward holiness, exhibiting patience, going away from being judgmental, increased prayerlife, achieving hospitality, extending compassion and almsgiving. Likewise, gluttony represents a more primordial problem than sex, and as such the reduced intake of food or fasting is very much a part of asceticism.

Since I am studying at the seminary now, certain ascetic practices which I used to do when I was inside the confines of my monastery in New Mexico would not apply to my condition anymore.

For obvious reasons that are beneficial to my studies though contradictory to my usual monastic contemplative way of life inside the cloister, I had to give up on some of them for really important reasons which should benefit my seminary life.

One ascetic practice that I gave up in order to give way to an important immersion of my monastic life to life in the seminary is:

• Inside the monastery (my own monastery in New Mexico) regular shaving of hair on my head and growing of my beard and moustache is part of my monastic routine. Now, I could not achive such as seminary policies for grooming made me grow hair on my head and made me shave my facial hairs.

Some ascetic practices which I could still keep despite a little difficulty and discomfort in executing them. (I am just very careful not to violate any customary of the house of St. Meinrad community which are sometimes contradictory to my own community’s customary. )
• Abstinence from food. (At least, I am able to skip one meal a day, either breakfast or lunch after our mid-day prayer, whichever is applicable on a particular day except during Mid-term and Final exams ).
• Abstinence from engaging on too much conversation. I am expected (as well as other visiting monks from other communities who live with the monks of St Meinrad ArchAbbey) to attend to the daily evening recreation of monks at St. Meinrad, but I try to just listen from their talks and less engage myself in an actual talk.

coping up

When I started with my graduate studies at St Meinrad Seminary in Indiana last Fall semester of last year, my monastic life has changed tremenduously as far as its routine is concerned. From being a silent monk who does not talk for hours of days and weeks of months inside the cloister, I was transformed to a talking-monk who needs to talk things out to fit in and measure up with the demands of academic life in the seminary.

In the past years, I have been so immersed with writing reflections from my daily Lectio Divina inside the cloister that at the end of the day, I would end up with a significant mystagogical reflection and would gladly share it thru my blog. I missed those moments when I would bury myself pouring out my thoughts in a mystagogical reflection!

It seems that I just could not do it anymore. It seems that I lost the chance of writing my thoughts and reflections from my daily 4:00-5:00 PM Lectio Divina simply because I had to spend more time with my academic papers and bury my face in thick pages of reading assignments in Philo and Theo all the time for the rest of the semester.

I remember last year that I gave up posting in my blog to give way and accept the challenge of seminary activities in the seminary: listening to my professors for hours, spending late nights writing analysis papers and research papers, attending colloquoys and class workshops, out-of-town group trips for pastoral works and off-campus ministries. But I tremendously missed blogging! (the rationale behind my comeback to the blogosphere sometime last December of last year.)

But indeed, the idea of seminary life is much more complicated than simply living inside the cloister, praying the Psalms seven times a day, and spending quiet moments contemplating on the Scriptural readings of the day.

But I need to cope up.

I need to fit in.

I need to measure up.

I need to pass the courses, not necessarily with A's or A minuses but simply pass them with concrete knowledge and wisdom gained from the program offered for educating future priests toward achieving their ministerial commitment as ordained ministers of the Church.