doubting Thomases...former Catholics...

photo credit to my friend Torn Agustin

They call themselves former Catholics. They were baptized and educated as Catholics, but have chosen to leave the Sacraments and the Church because they were hurt, scandalized and disgusted with God’s Church.

They might have been the faithful parishioners of the priests who got married and left the ministry. Before these ministers gathered enough courage to leave, so many from their flocks have been hurt by their double standard’s way of life, their double lives.

These former Catholics could be the ordinary Sunday Mass-goers who stayed away from confession because of the unreasonable temper of the priest who last heard their confession.

These were the parishioners who have hurt feelings in the Catholic Church.
They could be the ones who prayed to God for healing, or for a job, or the conversion of an erring loved one. God took so long to answer. After praying and sacrificing long and hard, a loved one died. These Catholics felt so much pain and thus, lost their confidence. They are now outside the Church and has joined other Christian churches that they’ve seen as “more” alive.

Among the friends of Jesus, there was at least one who carried an ill feeling against God and the friends of God: Thomas, the twin. He staked his best and his most for Jesus. He thought Jesus would liberate Israel. He thought Jesus would establish His kingdom and he was aspiring to be a VIP in that kingdom.

What a terrible disappointment it was for Thomas to hear of Jesus being whipped, carrying a cross like a criminal and dying like a worm. Was this all that Jesus could offer? From the viewpoint of Thomas, Jesus duped him. He was disappointed and disgusted. He was hurting and pained.

When the ten apostles started to gather again, Thomas chose to stay away. He was too hurt, he was turning skeptical and cynical. The pain was too much. He thought he needed time to be alone, to lick his wounds and recover. At a certain point, Thomas was a “former catholic.”

What brought Thomas back? He challenged Jesus and the apostles. “I need to probe my fingers into His wounds. Otherwise, forget about this resurrection story.” Jesus acceded to the demand and said: “Do it. Touch my wounds. Realize that all these wounds are for you. Thomas, even if you are the only person in this world, I will still choose to be wounded, broken and killed. My wounds are proofs of my love for you.”
The “former Catholic” Thomas returned to the Church and became a great apostle to bring the gospel to India. By the glorious wounds of Jesus, Thomas was healed.

There are so many others like Thomas who are hurting and disappointed because of the ways of God and the ways of the Church. They could not accept the Church in politics and in its stand against population control. They cannot accept Its priests in fund- raising drives despite the donation fatigue of the parishioners. They cannot accept the reality that good people suffer and bad people are prosperous. These people need to be healed of their hurts and pains.

They cannot see Jesus in the midst of the Catholic Church. They just wait outside the Church and wait until those “hypocrites” inside are done. They find the liturgy meaningless and the smell of incense abominable. They cannot see Jesus. They can only see the people who carry the name of Jesus. The Catholics. The Christians.

Can we show them our hands, feet and side to prove to them that we have been wounded out of love for them?

Can we show them our hands ready to reach out, or are our hands still clenched fists ready to hurt and destroy?

Have our feet been bruised walking the journey of Jesus, or are they hurting because they kicked hard and strong?

Is our side wounded, giving out the blood and water of mercy, or is it the side of the former Catholics that is wounded because of hurts and pains?

At the twilight of life, we will be judged according to love. At the sunset of life, Jesus will look not for our stars but for our scars.

“Former Catholics” is a contradiction in terms. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic. God’s call is irrevocable.

We just need the Words of Jesus to heal us. Jesus heeds our readiness to be wounded so that the world may know that we are His disciples.

Have a blessed fourth week of Lent to all of you!