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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

God is in her eyes







Lawrence says: As my mom ages, caregiving and dementia has become more common aspects of life to my understanding. I know very well that in most mild to medium cases of dementia, the primary caregiver is a family member, usually a spouse or adult child. In the case of my 96-year old mother, I have to do the caregiving.

According to the latest study and evaluation, the role of family caregivers has also become more prominent, as care in the familiar surroundings of home may delay onset of some symptoms and postpone or eliminate the need for more professional and costly levels of care. I, myself has spent over two hundred thousand pesos (almost five thousand dollars in equivalent) for my mom's hospitalization and surgery and sending her to a home care is just impossible. Although our home-based care for her may entail tremendous economic, emotional, and even psychological costs, we are positive and we are all one in saying that it is the right decision as well.


I must tell you, too, that family caregivers often give up time from work and forego pay in order to spend an average of 47 hours per week with an affected loved one, who frequently cannot be left alone. We have to take turns at night staying awake as my mom has tremendous sleep disturbance.

Over the course of time more and more professional care in the form of nursing and other supportive care may be required for those suffering from dementia, whether at home or in a long term care facility but in my mom's case, we don't need to send her to such team of medical professionals because I, myself, and my elder sister May, with the help of her 26-year old youngest son, James, all are in control with our mom's condition.

Life has to move on, onward to taking care of our mother, and onward with my life outside the portals of my contemplative monastery in New Mexico. Onward with my life as caregiver to my mother! And this, I tell you, is the most gratifying and fulfilling stage in my life as monastic! So, no regrets at all.

God is seeing me as I see Him in my mother's eyes!

2 comments:

Rob Ferguson said...

You beautifully fulfill our 4th commandment...to HONOR your father and mother. You are an excellent example to us all.

I think it is wrong when people don't care for their aging parents. Many don't even make an attempt.

Many blessings and prayers for you brother and for your ailing mother and family.
Rob

Anonymous said...

Dear Brod Obet,
I was really touched when i saw your pictures esp. your mother and the messages of yours. My mother is coming back ...living with me on July hopefully up tto the last days of her life. yes you are right that we should take care of our parents on the weakest time of their lives, who else will give them comfort and love except us children. So while they are still living we should give them the most and precious time we have so that when it is our turn to be that situation our children will do the same. I'm proud of YOU BROD !

Sis weng

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