Reflecting on life that should be filled with forbearance…

Today is my community’s desert day-

And as defined in our Customary, it is a day intended for solitude and prayer, lectio and rest, relaxation and refreshment, but alone, not with other brothers, sisters (the neighboring community of Benedictine nuns in whose locations has so very close proximity to the monks community) or guests. An exception to this needs the permission of one’s superior (Junior master, Novice master or the Abbot).

It is also a day to clean one’s cell and adjacent rest room. Cells and restrooms will be inspected on the day following by two Senior monks. Any additional cleaning will be pointed out to the concerned brother privately.

So, today I had an ample time to reflect and find answers to some of my unending questions that keep reverberating in my ears.

At this point and time in my life as Senior monk who has lived monastic life for seven years, I shall pose to myself this question which might help me greatly in seeing the clear path of my monastic life: What is fraternal life?

Is it not to love one another- something that means, concretely to esteem one another? …Is it not to welcome each other ceaselessly?
…Is it not truly to hear one another?that is, to ‘open the ear of my heart’ ?
…Is it not to hear the ideas that are different from my own?
…Is it not to speak, in turn, with words that are just, gentle, and subtle?
…Is it not to act generously and kindly?
…Is it not to pardon one another tirelessly? Bear the imperfections of one another tirelessly? Accept the faults, mistakes and weaknesses of one another tirelessly?

Perhaps, these questions will give clarity and nurture my monastic growth as these has something to do with the kind of life that I am living now with my monk brothers of diversified culture, nationality, color, smell, conduct and behavior.

Perhaps, I shall need to take a closer look from time to time and make a keen reflection on the Holy Rule of St Benedict's Chapter 72 which says: “Of the Good Zeal which the monks ought to have”…Just as there is an evil of bitterness which separates from God and leads to hell, so is there a good zeal which separates from evil and leads to God and life eternal.
Let monks, therefore, exercise this zeal with utmost fervent love. Let them, that is, give one another precedence. Let them bear with the greatest patience on one another’s infirmities, whether body or character. Let them vie in paying obedience to one another. Let none follow what seems good for himself, but rather what is good for the other. Let them practice fraternal charity with a pure untainted love for one another".

And so, may God give me the grace to be able to reconsider, to be able to give heed to what Chapter 72 of St Benedict’s Holy Rule says.

May I be given the grace of God to truly give my life undoubtedly for my brothers and to truly bear with their strange cultures, beliefs, smells, behavioral practices, their mores, and their cultural behaviors and personalities.

What I am so thankful of, amidst such hardship and difficulties in where I live now, is the fact that most people outside the monastery who despite of being fairly well in life still has unending questions like "What are you looking for? What do you want?" These questions bug their minds all day long.

Perhaps, they feel something was missing in their lives, and they couldn't quite name it, but they have a sense that Jesus might have the answer.

Inside the monastery, I am led to walk side by side with Jesus across these seven years that passed: Through Jesus I came to know the Father, and through Jesus I am nurtured to be— merciful, compassionate, forgiving, forbearing and faithful to the end.

I know that it's gonna be a lifetime task, but it's the very thing I've been looking for all my life...