What makes me impatient?

I am a monk. I should display and exhibit utmost patience to my brothers inside the monastery. But I am impatient. What makes me really impatient? You can give your wild guesses and answers.

I am sure you will give me many and varied reasons.

Some will say, it is the terrible and annoying monks who just could not control their appetite to ask and pester me with questions and inquiries while I am baking fourteen loaves of bread in the kitchen.

Another will say it is the slow-learning assistant cooks that my superior assign to help me out in my cooking for the day‘s main meal.

Still others will say it is the repeated mistakes of aging monks assigned to do the hebdomadary ( the intoning of the Opening Prayers and Closing prayers of every Divine Office in Church for the day ), or the neophyte monks who are immaturely (untimely) assigned to do the intoning of Antiphons and Psalms of the Liturgy of the Hours in a day.

I think the reasons for impatience will be as many and as varied as there are many years I spent inside the Cloister.

But come to think of it, is it really the inquisitive or the talkative (in endless whispers to my ear) monks or the slow-learning assistant cooks or the aging hebdomadary or the neophyte monks intoning the Antiphons-Psalms that make me impatient?

Is not the reason for my impatience my decision, however, unaware may me be, to react impatiently to these particular situations inside the monastery?

How come some other people out there go through the heavy traffic jam at the city main roads especially at EDSA and Ayala Ave unperturbed?

How come some people react to slow learners with gentle and kind understanding?

How come some people are so deprived in life and yet they can smile and laugh more than the people who actually enjoy greater material prosperity?

How come there are sick people who inspire the healthy in the virtues of courage and fortitude?

But we can choose to be patient and kind and understanding rather than to be impatient or annoyed no matter how difficult the situation may be.

Do you remember how the widow in the Gospel did not allow her poverty to limit her generosity? It was her decision not to.

Do you remember how the good Samaritan did not allow his fear of being involved in a difficult situation to determine the extent of his charity?

Do you remember how the apostles were running after another for priority seats and how the Lord Jesus dealt with their childish ambition?


Jesus certainly did not turn to impatience. He taught them again. Do you remember how the apostles misunderstood the directions set by Jesus and how He, although exasperated already, still talked to them and taught them the way to the Father?

Monks do not need to be impatient. People do not need to be impatient. Because monks or not, we all have the capacity to be good, to be understanding, and to be PATIENT.

When monks get annoyed, or when people out there get annoyed, there is nobody to blame but the self.

It is not the fault of the inquisitive (makulet pa sa dilang makulet) monk nor the slow-learner assistant cooks. It is not the fault of the aging monk to be commiting mistakes nor the newcomer neophyte monks to be lacking knowledge of the rudiments of chanting nor the traffic jam at EDSA or Ayala Ave nor the repeated mistakes of our house helpers and etc….

The problem is not them. The problem is not outside. The problem is within me, within you, within us. The problem is ourselves!

When those around us show arrogance and hardness of heart, we respond to them by showing them more arrogance, more hatred, more violence, more resentment.

Does it improve the situation? Does it solve the problem? I guess, no.
I repeat, no. It only just gives us a little ego massage but the number of impatient monks in monasteries and people in the world would have increased because of us.

Our impatience with the shortcomings of those around us could be a reflection of our own failure to accept patiently and humbly our own limitations. It’s root could be our pride. We want to see progress immediately. Impatience could be selfishness and pride in another form.

If we cannot find patient and gentle monks in monasteries and people out there, then I guess it is best for us to be the first to exhibit patience, and kindness and gentleness and then we will see, we will find others changing for the better because of the good ‘seeds’ that we sowed.

We can also learn to be patient from the examples of others who are. The lives of holy men and women and great men and women remind us that we can still make our lives sublime. If they can be good and admirable in patience, why can’t we? Let us allow others to inspire us.

The best ‘Other’ who can teach us to be patient is Jesus Himself. Patience is a gift from God that we can ask for, that we can work for, that we can harness. It is a grace.

Perhaps one of the truly main reason why we are impatient is that we have not fully appreciated the patient love of God on us. How can God be so good? Is it that easy? Yes, indeed it is.
Need I say more?

Have a blessed day to all of us!